“I’m sorry I couldn’t fix you.” I often say this to myself as I leave my classroom- almost everyday. I love my students just as much as I love my kids.
When I think of my students or any of the students I have worked with in the past, I couldn’t tell who crawled first, who walked first, who strung words together first, who started reading at 2 years old. I couldn’t tell who was breastfed or bottle fed. I have no idea who still wears pull-ups at night or who still has accidents. I don’t know who was potty trained at 18 months old or 4 years old. I have no idea if they cried it out at night for bed or were rocked/breastfed to sleep. BUT I can tell which family practices kindness and love. I can tell which kids need love the most.
These kids are the kids that pull at my heart strings. Even though I feel like the worst mom, I am actually a better mom because of my students. My job is not to fix kids. Kids don’t need to be fixed. They need to be loved and nurtured. They need to be taught the skills necessary to navigate life. Math worksheets don’t mean a thing. Love and kindness endure all things.
Our own kids. Our babies. Our toddlers. Our students. They are innocent. They may act out or cry or hit or push back. They didn’t ask to be born. Remember that.
As parents, we lose our shit no doubt. I’ve written posts on here about how I feel like the worst mom ever because I lost my shit and slammed a door. I really do and I get so tired that I just want to scream and cry and have someone come take care of me. I eventually put on my mama pants, but I totally get it. We feel big feelings and our kids do too. Instead of bashing their big feelings, acknowledge them and let them feel and heal. Big feelings are a huge part of life and no one teaches us how to navigate those.
As a society we have failed our kids, especially the ones who have difficulty with perspective taking and executive functioning, which most of our kids and adults do. No one is explicitly taught empathy, appropriate greetings or social interactions.
Kids didn’t ask to be born. Yes, they can be annoying and hit and and kick and scream, but just love them, even if it’s hard. ❤