I love meeting new people, especially in this crazy world we live in with Covid. It’s hard to meet people and easy to feel isolated. We decided to take a family trip to the Cape this year, just Howie, me, the kids and our dog. It was the most perfect little vacation I’ve ever been on in my life. And it was a pretty damn good decision. I remember these kind of vacations I used to take with my family when I was a kid. You know, today it’s hard to know if you can travel to different states, go away, etc. This vacation symbolized so much more to me than just a vacation. We didn’t have to cater to anyone, we didn’t have a schedule, we were living in the moments and we got to see our kids faces light up over free bagged donuts, ice cream hats, the biggest pool they’ve ever seen, and horseshoe crabs. Not to mention how amazing God’s sandbox was. We drank wine on the beach and held hands watching our kids play and dance in the sand- being as carefree as we wish we were. We weren’t talking about finances or work or stressing about Covid. We weren’t confined to wearing masks because we were tucked away in our own little hotel room and the beach. The beach was right outside of our room where the kids could chase seagulls and we could pee anytime we wanted (now that’s a vacation). I got to wake up and run at 6am and breathe in the beauty of God and just breathe in the moments- calm before the storm/ aka being a teacher during covid is my worst nightmare.
This is when I met Kris. I was outside very early in the morning breathing and crying because these moments are my favorite in life and for those that know me, know that my soul loves and craves the beach. And when I’m with my family that I created, my soul is about to burst. Kris was a person who crossed my path for a reason and I’m a firm believer in these things. Another thing about me is that I feel my feelings out loud and I will never apologize or change. Kris is a lady who understood that. She explained to me that she travels to the Cape almost every year and I learned she just lost her husband and her dad. She started talking to me (because her and I could talk to a wall) and we ended up talking for awhile and I learned that she too, feels feelings out loud. My soul already knew her- corny yes, but soooo true. I can’t explain it but I just felt like I was supposed to know her or I already knew her. She was bold, loud, wise, and full of life. We ended up talking everyday and she fell in love with my kids. She kept wanting to take our pictures because she too, loves to collect moments. That’s why I take a million pictures. So I can relive these moments anytime I want.
Kris’ husband recently died of being very sick. He left her $93,000 in debt and racked up not only medical bills, but gambled his life away. She has her own house cleaning business and told me she’s the best around. Her confidence and zest for life is what drew me. She told me she’s been through so much shit (years and years) that has made her stronger than she ever realized she was. She’s never read the book, Untamed, but God it was like she was quoting the book. Here are a few things that she taught me…
1. Men don’t get it. But neither do we. Us women have to realize that men won’t ever get it and it’s not that they are being “rude or careless or mean,” but that they actually don’t get it.
2. Women are warriors and as much as men want to believe they are the protectors and the breadwinners, it’s us women they could never live without. We are the glue.
3. Go with your gut. Always go with your gut. That’s your heart and it’s never wrong.
4. It’s gonna be hard as hell, but you will make it and you will be okay. She was talking about the journey of life. But those good moments, oh my God hold onto them.
5. Take care of yourself first. It’s not selfish. If you don’t take care of yourself first, everyone else falls apart. You have to be the best version of yourself to be the best mom, friend, wife… remember women are warriors and we need to be taken care of.
6. Don’t let anyone control you or tame you. Don’t let anyone tell you not to feel. For God’s sake, those that feel their feelings are the healthiest. You bottle it up and put it away? You’re going to become bitter and mean. That’s my biggest fear, to become bitter, mean and jealous. I ran away last May because I couldn’t do it anymore. I let everyone run me to the ground and not purposefully. It’s because I carry the weight of people and I got tired. I needed a mental break so I came here to escape and that’s how I discovered this place. (These were her words almost exactly).
7. Don’t waste your energy worrying about tomorrow. You’re gonna miss the important moments and they might not seem important at the time, but they sooo are.
8. You can pray and pray, but know you aren’t always going to get what you want. You will always always get what you need.
9. Appreciate what you have and collect as many memories as you can. Take all the pictures and don’t regret anything ever. It all is supposed to happen the way it happens. Trust your universe.
10. No day is ever wasted and shame on you if you think it is.
11. If they make your iced coffee wrong or there’s something in your life you don’t like, don’t you feel guilty for wanting it fixed. You have one life. Love it. Fix it.
12. Don’t blink because before you know it, your kids aren’t kids. Let them sleep in your bed. Let them suck their thumb. Let them take their time. You have a leash on their little wings. Let them become who they want to become and stop rushing things. By first grade, their wings get a little bigger and each year that goes by those wings grow bigger and bigger and bigger and before you know it, they are flying.
13. Life can feel like a parachute. You make decisions that will impact your whole life and it will feel like you are falling out of a plane and about to hit the ground. I’ve fallen out of a plane many times and as much as you feel like you are about to crash into the ground, your parachute will always always open. I promise.
14. You’re gonna be okay kid. I know it. And you are a beautiful soul. Don’t change for anyone. Your wings are full and beautiful and you have the power to paint the most beautiful life. Our paths were meant to cross.
Cue the crying. On our last day and my last run on the foggy beach at 7am, there she was drinking coffee in her same spot just smiling. We said goodbye and she wished me luck in this crazy unknown Covid world. She blew me a kiss and said she will pray for my journey. I cried and matched her emotion and her luck. I will forever be thankful to meet “Miss Kris,” as she introduced herself to my kids.
Dear Miss Kris,
In the 4 days that I met you, you taught me more lessons than any book, relationship or experience. I vow to cherish the moments, go on vacation with my little family every year, savor my kids even when they poop through their clothes and scream, and trust my heart. I’m scared for life ahead and what God has in store for me, but I trust my path and love my soul. I will not change for anyone and I will feel every feeling that I want. Life is meant to live. Things will fall apart to be put back together. Thank you and I will think about you all the time. I think you are one of my angels.
Until next year… we will be back and maybe our paths with cross again.