Light up your soul, baby

I know I preach about self-care and doing what makes your soul happy. I preach about being a busy mom and knowing the feeling of exhaustion way too well. I preach about trying to find alone time and doing what make you happy. But I don’t talk a lot about why. We all know when do things for ourselves and even others we feel good from the inside which helps radiate on the outside. Everyone’s light is different and that’s beautiful.

When your soul ignites, you will know. Close your eyes and really think about what makes you happy. Then think about what truly lights up YOUR soul- for a long time. These prolonged lights that shine deep within our soul are rare, at least for me they are. I might feel a spark here and there and I feel happy for a short while, but those things that keep me feeling lit up for a while, it can be difficult to reach.

We are all so used to routine- the routine of life and that can dull our light. We are such predictable humans and then life throws us a storm and we are out of routine meaning we have to “start all over again.” During that storm, we tend to lose our sparkle and our light. We become less motivated and start to overthink. What am I good at? What makes ME truly happy? Where is my life going? Am I good mom? Amiright?? Damn brain- so disconnected from our soul at times. And then we give give give so much our ourselves to our kids, our family, our friends, our jobs, our thoughts, which in turn does nothing for us but leave us feeling drained because we break ourselves so much just so that others can stay together. If there is one thing I have learned from life and being an adult and being needed all the time, it’s to add value to your own life first. Add that self-love piece to your life FIRST.

For me, feeling aligned is the most whole feeling ever. When my brain feels connected to my soul I feel the most complete I have ever felt. It’s rare but ohhhhh nothing beats this feeling. The things we do in our lives don’t define us, but our soul and what fuels our soul does. You can pray a million times a day, run a million miles a day, have all the money in the world, but you can still feel empty. The goal in life is find out what makes you full and then collect as many of those feelings as you can.

The things that light up my soul whole-heartedly: Vacations with my family, sunsets alone, being on the beach alone, running on the beach, running long runs because to me, it’s alone time that lets my brain unspool the tangles that build up over days, a good long hot yoga session at my favorite studio, the newborn stage, going to dinner with my kids- just me and them proving that even though I feel like a fuck up most of the time, they actually think I’m supermom and will remember this forever, laying in bed with my kids with no plans and no one to answer to, driving in the car alone with the “big feelings” songs blasted in the summer with the windows down, and oh so many more. Those things fill me. Massages, shopping, eating a good cake, taking a bath, driving in the car 3 minutes alone…those things make me feel good temporarily and I will always make time for those. But those big moments are what build me up and light my soul. When I’m on fire, I feel like I can do anything. When I feel happy and I feel unstoppable, I’m a good mom, wife, friend, daughter…I’ve also learned that those “overthinking” and “bad” days just help me gain perspective and blatantly remind me what I need. I know I can’t take a vacation every single week and I am lucky if I go once a year, but if we start to practice that self-love and care daily just with little things, they help build us up and light our souls and when our soul is lit, we are the best versions of ourselves.

And let me tell you for that hour or however many minutes that those endorphins are flowing, I think about NOTHING. It feels like every moment of everyday, someone or something needs my attention. Running? Yoga? Endorphins? This is MY way of refreshing and filling my own cup. It’s not a rock that I need to move. My way of energizing myself and fueling up for the day is accomplishing something for me. SO PLEASE, MAKE the time girlfriend/boyfriend. You won’t just go and magically find the things that light your soul. I know this from experience. YOU alone have to find what ignites you and then find the time. To me, workouts and a compilations of those soul moments are so much more than that- it’s for my mental AND physical health. Prevent those mommy meltdowns and the pity party that we so often feel deep down in your core- that’s your soul calling you to WAKE UP.

If you can’t take time to make your soul happy and light up, then that’s on you. If you want to spend YOUR time working and overthinking and treading, don’t blame others and don’t ever let anyone make you feel guilty. No one has to understand your calling, it’s not a fucking conference call. No one has to understand what lights up your soul, baby. Only you because it’s your life. Remember that. Please allow yourself to feel those feelings because once you do, oh it is SO magical.

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