Babies, Toddlers, emotion, family, life, motherhood, toddlerhood

I miss you

I miss you when you were just born.

I miss you when you fit so perfectly in my arms and on my body.

I miss when I knew you only had me to give you life. When your little eyes would look up at me when you were nursing.

I miss when all you wanted was me.

I miss when you didn’t and couldn’t understand the world. You only knew me.

I miss when you loved me unconditionally.

I miss when we would lay together in bed listening to soft music forgetting about the chaos around us.

I miss when I only had to worry about when you would sleep or wake up.

I miss the little noises you would make when you stretched out so big.

I miss the way you would beg me to pick you up by holding my legs and putting your arms up.

I miss when you needed me so much. I miss when you wanted me more than the iPad.

I miss your little finger wrapped around mine.

I miss the calm I felt in my heart when you were so little.

I miss cuddling.

I miss you in my bed.

When the joy goes – and it does, because life moves on and you can’t play peek-a-boo with a 7 year-old who wants to play on their iPad all day long – it feels like bereavement.

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