Good Mourning

I get it. It’s spelled wrong. But I’m in the mourning phase of motherhood where I am crying daily that my kids are growing up. That oxytocin is wearing thin and my kids are outgrowing my arms and my lap as I write this. I swear I lie in bed staring at my kids praying…

I miss you

I miss you when you were just born. I miss you when you fit so perfectly in my arms and on my body. I miss when I knew you only had me to give you life. When your little eyes would look up at me when you were nursing. I miss when all you wanted…

I need directions

My daughter is almost 6 and I always knew she was strong willed from the womb. She’s always been a leader, likes to have control, knows what she wants, needs melatonin to sleep, has a ton of energy, thrives with routine and structure, needs to be stimulated and loves to talk and sing- at home.…

Dear Hudson, You are FOUR

Dear Sweet Boy, You are such a blessing to my life and I love watching you grow, but as I always say, it breaks my heart at the same time. Do I pray for you to stay little? Or do I pray you won’t ever struggle or feel pain? I live my life for you…

You are five

  June 20, 2020 Dear Juliana, You are FIVE today. My heart breaks and then gets put together all over again watching you grow up. It is so hard for a mama to watch her FIRST baby grow up. You are kind, sweet, fierce, and empathetic. Sometimes I just want to say sorry that you…

It pushes on the soul

Have you have had such big feelings that it pushes on your soul? Really really bad ones and really really good ones? I live for those good ones- the ones that make your soul jump into your heart. When you first find out you’re pregnant. When you first fall in love. When you’re with your…

Dear Hudson

Today you are 3. Today you are my little boy instead of my baby and that makes me sad. But I swear to God I will always call you my baby forever and ever even when you hate it. Thank you for being my calm in this storm of life. I’m sorry that it was…

It’s all too much

How are you doing mamas? I am not well and I will admit it. As most of you know, I consider this my safe place to vent- a platform for mamas to share the good things, the bad things, and everything in between. We are living in an unprecedented time, a time where we have…

February sucks

Posting now, spell check later. I hate February. With a passion this year. I really wanted 2020 to start off with a bang and that it did. In the beginning of February we had a big scare with Hudson. Update: he’s doing great. We have been pricking his toe every morning and night to get…

Gratitude & Fulfillment

Are you happy with your life? Do you feel fulfilled? Or only a little bit? It's totally not normal to feel fulfillment every second of your life because if you did, how do you know what it feels like? Those times of wonder and questioning your purpose is normal and totally okay. Those times help…