June 20, 2020 Dear Juliana, You are FIVE today. My heart breaks and then gets put together all over again watching you grow up. It is so hard for a mama to watch her FIRST baby grow up. You are kind, sweet, fierce, and empathetic. Sometimes I just want to say sorry that you… Continue reading You are five
Today you are 3. Today you are my little boy instead of my baby and that makes me sad. But I swear to God I will always call you my baby forever and ever even when you hate it. Thank you for being my calm in this storm of life. I’m sorry that it was… Continue reading Dear Hudson
I coach a little college cheerleading on the side- just once a month for a great group of girls. I love going there because it reminds me of college... the days of effortless love, no technology, and hardly any responsibilities. Facebook wasn’t even invented until my senior year of college. We actually all got to… Continue reading The island of motherhood
My daughter is everything I hate about me. I know that sounds horrible. I feel horrible writing it, but God it hits me hard. She's stubborn. I'm stubborn. She's OCD and gets stuck- just like me on a bad day. She's cranky as ever- so am I on a bad day. Sometimes she's a bully-… Continue reading Wild child don’t you cry
This may sound a little morbid, but this summer is hitting me really hard- the last summer of me. The last summer that I don't have to worry about my kids because they are still in daycare. The last summer I can sit on my unicorn float and read 3 books and day drink without… Continue reading My Last Summer
This one is hard for me to write. I had to write it now because a few months from now it will sting too much. We are in the last few months of daycare and most of her friends are already gone. They all started together about 4 years ago. Juliana started there at 9… Continue reading Can you just stay at daycare?
I remember when I had my first baby, I want to spend every second with her. I cried my eyes out for days and hours when I sent her to daycare for the first time. I actually hated everyone at work. I even wore her teething necklace to work. I am very fortunate enough to… Continue reading No more guilt
I love. I mom. I run. I teach. I dream. I breathe. I dance. I feel. I get depressed. I feel run down. I cry. I compare. I get jealous. I feel. And guess what? That's okay. Why can't it be okay to feel all those feelings and have them sometimes overlap? Why do we… Continue reading What do you do?
I got to play with my kids tonight. I got to spend real time- no husband, no screen time, no running, no multitasking, no phones- yes I took pictures and videos obviously because it's me. I wanted to cry the whole time, not because I was sad but because I was so damn happy and… Continue reading “I can’t stay a baby, Mama”
Not just because Hudson is 2, but everything this week seems extra sensitive for me. I'm in a good place in my life mentally but every so often my emotional bank is robbed and I feel every emotion all at once. I'm sad because my kids are getting older, happy to watch them grow, anxious… Continue reading Feelin all the feels